Unusual Occurances
by bright snow
Summary: Kakashi decides to have some fun with his ohsofabulouslylucky Team 7. Oneshot, crack, rated for bit of language. Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura.


_Summary: Kakashi decides to have some fun with his ohsofabulouslyluckyTeam7. Oneshot, crack fic. Includes: Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura._

**Unusual Occurances**

_A/N: _**EDIT: 1/07/07**: This might be the last time I update this oldie...good. Then I can start writing all of my other projects, mm?

_Disclaimer: _I do not own Naruto.

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_Team 7 meets, as usual, at the bridge..._

_------_

Sakura was the first one at the bridge that day. She walked to the center, boards creaking and whining beneath her, herself yawning and stretching her arms above her head. She knew that her sensei wouldn't show up for another few hours or so, but she always forgot the night before to set her alarm clock later than the crack of dawn.

"I didn't even get to eat breakfast!"

She mentally replayed her wonderful morning, starting off with her mother practically knocking down the door to her bathroom screaming, "Sakura!! You can finish washing your hair tonight! You're _sixteen minutes late!!_"

Inner Sakura was blaring something along the lines of "_the hell! I've got to look nice for Sasuke!"_ while she shrieked a request at her mother to put her shoes out for her. "I'll be out in a second!!" She remembered herself screeching.

At the bridge, Sakura's outside composure wore just a "mildly" annoyed expression as Inner Sakura raged around, ripping a doll shaped in the likeness of Kakashi to pieces.

Another whine finally escapes the tight trap of her lips. "I'm going to be starving by the time Kakashi-sensei finally comes!"

She lets out yet _another_ wide yawn, tears actually coming to her eyes this time. She swore she felt a bone in her jaw crack.

"Why, good morning, Sakura. Didn't get enough sleep last night?"

She froze in the middle of her yawn. "Wha-what are you-how did you-" She stuttered and gaped like a fish out of water. "Why-what-what's going on?!" She felt her world start to go hazy, and the images her sight was giving her started to distort into vague smears. She felt herself fall, fall into a black void of no end . . .

"Really, Sakura," was the last thing she heard.

------

_Not two minutes later..._

Sasuke, as usual, sulked his way to the bridge (with not a single gorgeous emo hair out of place!), where Team 7 always met with their always-very-late sensei. He was _not_ looking forward to hearing Sakura and Naruto bleating about Kakashi being late _again_; why couldn't they just get used to the fact that Kakashi was _never_ going to be on time? And why couldn't the idiots figure out that they could actually _sleep in_ for at least four hours until Kakashi actually showed up? He _never_ showed up earlier than four and a half hours late. _Never_. It was like he was watching a clock to make sure he never arrived in front of his students until at least four and a half hours past the time he had instructed for them to meet him.

_I thought at least Sakura would figure it out...the idiot _(referring to Naruto, of course)_ will never figure it out. Pathetic._

He twitched when he heard someone scuffing their foot against the ground (or some other surface; at the moment, he didn't particularly care). A muscle around his left eye started to jerk as in his mind, he heard Sakura chatter in her annoyingly high-pitched voice at him. However, in no time, he also heard Naruto's maddeningly shrill voice start to screech over Sakura's a half second later with his usual aggravating way of yelling out "_believe it!!_" every other word--accompanied, of course, with that trademark colossal grin. He prepared himself for the worst, but instead of either of their voices, he heard a calm one.

"Sasuke, good morning." There was a pause, then, "I can see you were deep in thought; please continue with it as if I had never interrupted."

He looked up in surprise. He blinks. Eyes suddenly widen and he instantly searches his memory. _Did he say he would be on a mission...?_ When no memories immediately surfaced, he reached slowly for a couple kuinai from the side of his leg. It _must _be an imposter; there was absolutely _zero_ chance that he'd actually...there was no chance _whatsoever_...it was impossible...

He shook his head, clearing his mind of any doubt he had, and charged at the fraud, leaping up to attack him head on, Sharingan blazing in both eyes.

"Hm? Oh, come now, Sasuke..."

A few seconds later, Sasuke found himself thrown into the ground with enough force to crack the pavement around him as far away as half his height.

"Now then, it would be nice if you fell asleep just about now. Can't have Naruto discovering you awake, now can we?"

The last thing Sasuke saw was the execution of several quick hand signs before he blacked out.

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**_AAN AAN AAN AAN AAN AAN_**-

"Arrgh...what time is it...shut up, you stupid clock . . . just shut up..." Naruto sleepily swiped his hand around the surface of the table next to his bed for the alarm clock. "...Agh...where is it...?!" His searching hand finally found the clock and he smashed down the top of it to make it stop ringing. He heard a distinct springing noise and he slapped his other hand onto his eyes. "...No way, I couldn't have broken it . . . I have to give it back to Iruka-sensei when I get my own..."

He finally rolled over and clutched at the possibly broken alarm clock to see what time it was. He felt something hard and he grasped at it--success!--and felt several springs dig into his hand.

"Oh no...this can't be happening...this is Iruka-sensei's!!"

He brought it closer to his bleary eyes, trying to make out the damage he'd done to the wrecked clock. "It can't be too bad, right? If I get it to Selena's shop, she can fix it...I'll just drop it off at her shop while I go to the bridge...**THE BRIDGE**!!" He swore and tried to make out the fuzzy numbers but, to his extreme disgust, the hands were turning around wildly and there was no way to find out what time it really was since that was the only clock in his apartment. He rolled off the bed, landing with a thump on the floor to irritated curses directed at him from his neighbors under his room. He mumbled an indistinct and rather insincere "Sorry" as he crawled toward his closet to change his clothes.

A couple minutes later, Naruto was haphazardly slurping down the remains of his ramen while hopping across the rooftops towards the bridge, frantically trying to get there before his sensei did.

"Naruto Uzamaki is **HERE**! Yeah! Believe it!! Future Hokage!" He ran triumphantly to the bridge with his arms raised, conveniently forgetting that he had quickly dumped the residue of his garbage into several handily planted bushes.

Silence. There was a cow mooing, and then it was quiet again. Crickets weren't awake yet, so, sadly, the cows had to fill in instead.

His ears twitched and he lowered his hands down slowly. Where was Sakura's exasperated voice telling him to shut up? Where was Sasuke's sneer telling him to shut up? He looked around, confused.

"...Wait, I bet I know where they are! Sasuke probably announced his love to Sakura and they went out on a date! Nooo, Sakuraaaa!" Naruto then commenced in sobbing hysterically, failing to notice the rather obvious fact that his two other teammates were actually knocked out and almost, but not completely, under the shadow of a couple bushes to his left (the ones that he had "placed" the remains of his ramen).

Suddenly, he stopped laughing. He felt the sharp edge of a kunai against his throat, and he could feel the breath of his attacker from behind him. He tried to reach for his own kunai in his weapon pouch strapped to his leg; instead he found air where it used to be.

"Looking for this?"

Naruto saw his beloved weapons pouch with all of his carefully sharpened blades fly to the grass on the other end of the bridge. He grit his teeth in anger.

"Why the hell did you do that for?! I spent two hours sharpening those!"

"Well, I couldn't have had you attack me with all your little knives, now could I have?" his attacker asked in a bemused voice.

Quiet (or as close to quiet as quiet can get with a weeping Naruto around).

Naruto then attempted to twist around to see whom his foe was, but the knife was only pressed against his throat a little harder and he heard a low chuckle.

"Can't have that happening, Naruto, sorry. Now then..." Naruto felt the base of his neck hit with quite a bit of force at the same time the knife was removed from his neck. He couldn't believe it! He didn't even get to see who his attacker was before he was knocked...out. . . .

---

"Ha ha ha, of course I knew it was you, Kakashi-sensei!!" the blonde roared out heartily over his favorite food, ramen. Actually, it was the _only_ thing he ever ate, so, naturally, it was his favorite food, as well as his least favorite. But back to the 'subject.' "But you didn't have to hit me so hard," he whined as an after thought.

"Nn," Kakashi said, apparently engrossed in his book. "It was quite amusing, actually...Sakura actually _fainted_ when she saw me."

"Really Sakura?" asked Sasuke dryly at the same time Naruto sputtered, "_Rea_lly, Sakura? Ha ha-" His laugh was cut short at Sakura's reaction.

"Sh-shut up Naruto!"

Naruto flew from his stool a _looong_ way a couple seconds later with a spreading red mark focused mainly on his nose, not to mention some lovely red blood. He crawled back onto his stool and attempted to hold back his snorts of laughter lest he got punched by Sakura again.

"It's just that (snort) you actually **FAINTED** (snicker) before Kakashi even had to TOUCH you!"

Sakura's face flushed and Naruto went flying once again. "_Na_ruto, don't make it sound so perverted, will you?!" she screamed after his flying figure, attempting to slide a glance at Sasuke without making it too obvious. Too bad being discrete was never really her thing.

The rest of the dinner at the ramen stand, Kakashi's treat, went pretty much in that fashion. When Naruto finally finished slurping down his twenty-third bowl, and Kakashi had finished crying over his poor wallet being starving, Sasuke actually _ASKED_ someone something instead of demanding! Like, wow! It was, like, a moment in history!! A high-and-mighty-**Uchiha** actually asked for something! It was written in all the history books ever made in Konoha since that day!! It-

But back to the 'story.'

"Hey."

"...yes, Sasuke?" Kakashi said, assuming that he was directing the conversation at him.

"Could you not do that again," he said, making his request sound like a demand. Ah well...one could always dream.

"...maybe."

"Kakashi-SENSEEEIIII, please don't ever do that again! It was _scary_ when you showed up that early!" Sakura pleaded.

"...yes, I can understand that, seeing how you fainted," he said with an amused tone.

"Aww, c'mon, Kakashi-sensei!...Besides, why'd you show up early for once anyway?"

"Because . . . because because . . . _it was my birthday_! And I wanted to do something fun." Said jounin smiled pleasantly from behind his mask, his voice relaxing back into an easy drawl.

"**_WHAAAT_**?" all three genin screamed.

"This is your idea of a **JOKE**?!?"

"You're not **SERIOUS**, are you, Sensei?"

"Why didn't you **TELL** us before?! We would have bought cake and stuff for you!"

"No we wouldn't have."

"Well, at least I would have! Maybe Naruto, too..."

Kakashi just smiled cheekily. Not that anyone could see. But he smiled.

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**End.**


End file.
